Flawed (Perfection) Read online

  FLAWED

  J.L. SPELBRING

  SPENCER HILL PRESS

  Copyright © 2014 by J.L. Spelbring

  Sale of the paperback edition of this book without its cover is unauthorized.

  Spencer Hill Press

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

  Contact: Spencer Hill Press, PO Box 247, Contoocook, NH 03229, USA

  Please visit our website at www.spencerhillpress.com

  First Edition: August 2014

  J.L. Spelbring

  Flawed: a novel / by J.L. Spelbring – 1st ed.

  p. cm.

  Summary:

  Just when Ellyssa thought her father’s ideas died with him, she learns her siblings live, and they are determined to finish his work.

  The author acknowledges the copyrighted or trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this fiction:

  Audi, Popsicle

  Cover design by Trista Semmel

  Interior layout and chapter artwork by Marie Romero

  ISBN 978-1-939392-18-3 (paperback)

  ISBN 978-1-937053-67-3 (e-book)

  Printed in the United States of America

  To Trista, whose talent and creativity are just awe-inspiring. Thank you for helping me through the rough patches.

  1

  The cold slicing through Ellyssa’s flesh and burrowing into the marrow of her bones had nothing to do with the frigid temperatures of the Missouri winter. Rocks that had at one time hidden the entrance to the abandoned coalmine from prying eyes of rangers and search parties now lay scattered across the ground. As soon as she’d stepped over the rocks and through the entrance, she felt the eerie quiet. Death thickened the air.

  None of it was a good sign.

  Ellyssa pulled down the hood of her parka, freeing her blonde strands, then slipped her hand back into Rein’s. Closing her eyes, she released her mind to search for any signature of life, even though she knew the attempt was futile. She’d seen her father’s mind before she’d killed him. The Renegades’ hideout had been discovered, which meant her newfound family and friends were either imprisoned or dead, and fault lay with her.

  “Anyone?” asked Rein, his hand squeezing hers in desperation… in hope.

  Ellyssa glanced at Rein. Dying light, filtering through the entrance, reflected off jade-colored eyes and cut across his face, casting shadows under his angular cheekbones. His dark hair was disheveled from the hood and lay flat against his head. His lower lip trembled.

  Ellyssa’s heart wrenched at the sorrow on his face. At one time, the emotion would’ve been lost on her, a lesson of her dead father’s upbringing. Now she could barely contain the tears wanting to break free.

  Up until a few weeks ago, Ellyssa had been nothing more than a hollow shell of a human, created for the sole purpose of destroying anyone who went against the ideology of Aryan perfection. Thanks to her father, Dr. Hirch, the only emotions she’d been allowed were anger and hate.

  Rein had changed all that. Through him she’d learned to love.

  He meant everything to her.

  “I can’t feel anyone,” she replied.

  “Maybe when we move closer?” said Woody.

  With his back to the entrance, the falling sun peeked between Woody’s ash-blond strands and darkened his features. Ellyssa didn’t need to see his face or his grey eyes to know his worry; his voice was steeped in apprehension. She owed Woody everything; he’d been there to pull her together when she’d crumpled into a weeping emotional wreck after Jordan had passed, and again, to help her rescue Rein.

  And all she’d done was cause sorrow to both; Woody and Rein.

  “Maybe,” Ellyssa agreed, but she didn’t believe it.

  Taking the lead, she walked into the blackness of the cave, into the emptiness. She moved easily through the unlit passageways of her adopted home, as did Rein and Woody. They reached the opening leading into the hospital where years of training had been stripped away from Ellyssa, leaving a hole to fill with the true meaning of friendship, of family…of love.

  Memories of Mathew and Trista, along with the others—the chubby toddler holding the handful of flowers—washed over her. The tendrils of Ellyssa’s mind snapped back with the flood of emotions. She hesitated, afraid of other memories the hospital setting would invite.

  “It’s okay,” Rein whispered in her ear, his breath warm and soft against her skin.

  Although he couldn’t see her in the dark passageway, Ellyssa nodded. Control. She adopted her soldiering façade and redoubled her efforts. All sensations were erased. Once again, her mind expanded, searching.

  As Woody switched on the high-powered flashlight, Ellyssa stepped into the room that had served as the Renegades’ hospital. Light pushed away the edges of the black, but it did nothing to push away the building dread and tension in the air. The hospital was as lifeless as the nonexistent signals she searched for.

  Rein looked at Ellyssa, jade eyes questioning and scared. Clouds of unease darkened his features.

  She shook her head. “I cannot get any reads. Just… blank.” Her voice had returned to the robotic tone with ease. Ellyssa hated that part of herself, but once in a while, especially in times like this, she had to rely on the emotionless response of her old self.

  Rein pulled his hand through his dark hair as he looked away, chin quivering. “So,” he paused while he sucked in a breath of air, “I guess we should still check out the rest of the cave.”

  “Yeah, maybe someone is hurt and unconscious or something,” said Woody, his voice desperate. “It’s harder for you to get a read when they are like that…right?”

  “Yes,” Ellyssa replied, although she knew unconsciousness had nothing to do with the blankness. The glimmer of life was absent.

  Rein moved forward and she followed. The beam of light swiveled back and forth as Woody walked, casting undulating shadows in front of them.

  Just down the tunnel, they reached the tunneled-out room where Jason had died after he’d tried to assault Ellyssa. Generated light bounced off the low ceiling and caressed the contours of the walls, casting dancing shadows. All that was left was a crumpled blanket tossed to the side. Rein had told Ellyssa how Detective Petersen had tossed the dead man’s remains at his feet when he’d been held captive, in an attempt to sway him.

  No surprise that it hadn’t worked. The Renegades were known for their closed-mouthed loyalty.

  Try as she might, Ellyssa couldn’t imagine the emotional turmoil Rein had endured. All she knew now was that he would never be subjected to such violence again. He’d promised her they would never be separated again, and she intended to make sure he kept that vow.

  Grasping Ellyssa’s hand, Rein pulled away from the room. Tension shot through his fingers and into hers. She might’ve forgiven Jason his atrocities before he’d passed, but Rein had not. Two different sides of a coin, the victim and the loved one who had been victimized.

  Without a word, they reached the room where the walls overlapped, creating an illusion of a dead-end. Without faltering, Rein slipped between the two walls and disappeared.

  Before Ellyssa could join him, Woody placed his hand on her shoulder. “Anything?” he asked.

  “I am sorry.”

  Woody’s face crumpled, like the dim light of hope had gone out. Wishing she could change the inevitable, Ellyssa brushed her fingers against Woody’s cheek. He responded with a smile meant to b
e courageous, but it lacked conviction.

  Unable to say anything comforting, Ellyssa moved between the two walls and stepped to the edge of the opening that dropped off into the cavern below the Renegades’ evacuation point. The beam of light stopped by her feet, and a veil of darkness hung between the two levels.

  “Rein?” she said.

  “I’m here,” he answered, his voice shaky.

  Ellyssa closed her eyes. No. She crouched and dropped through the hole into the inky blackness. Rein was waiting for her, and as soon as her feet touched the ground, his arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. He hid his face in her hair.

  Even with coming to terms with feelings and emotions and responses, all the things she’d been conditioned to suppress and control all her life, Ellyssa still felt uncomfortable at times like this. She awkwardly held him, wishing she could change everything for him. Wishing she never had followed Jeremy’s siren call.

  “They’re gone. I know they’re gone,” Rein said.

  “We can hope they escaped,” Ellyssa said. Deep down, she knew that wasn’t the case.

  Woody landed next to them and the small tunnel washed with bright light. He looked at Rein, then at her, his eyes glistening.

  Ellyssa swallowed hard and breathed in deeply. She shoved the emotional whirlwind that threatened what little strength she still had into a small box, and locking it away. They had to investigate the cavern before anything could be decided.

  Rein released her. “Let’s go,” he said, his words sounding more determined than his voice. He turned and walked to the first intersection. “Which way?”

  “Go right,” answered Woody. “That’s most likely where they would’ve gathered.”

  The evacuation cavern was smaller than the connecting tunnels above, where the Renegades had resided and flourished for decades. At least, until Ellyssa came and shattered their haven, like Kali, the Hindu goddess of destruction.

  A few meters in, they entered a small room where stalactites met their counterparts in conical pillars. To the left was the community room where they would’ve all slept together. Unlike the cavern above, with personal rooms, which they’d called holeys, privacy here was nonexistent.

  Ellyssa stilled as soon as she entered the room. Although subtle, the sickeningly sweet smell of decaying flesh underlay the heavy mineral scent, and by the looks on Rein’s and Woody’s faces, they detected the odor, too.

  Rein glanced at Ellyssa, dread weighting the contours of his face. Then, without warning, Rein broke into a run toward the sleeping quarters, zigzagging between the natural formations with Woody close behind. Bounding light reflected off the surfaces of the moist deposits.

  Ellyssa rushed after them, the odor of minerals and death strengthening with each step.

  “Rein,” Ellyssa called. Her voice, reverberating off the walls, sounded hollow.

  Ellyssa slowed when she saw their backs. Both had stopped just inside the entrance, and then Ellyssa heard the worst sound she’d ever imagined—Rein howling with agony and horror.

  “No!” he screamed, his hands gripping his hair. “No! No! No!”

  Every piece of Ellyssa’s heart shattered. Rein’s cry sounded worse than when her sister, Aalexis, had tortured him with the mental equivalent of setting him on fire. Ellyssa would’ve done anything to save him from this. She reached out to touch him, to comfort him; instead, she let her hand drop uselessly.

  Woody said nothing, just stared straight ahead as if he didn’t trust his eyes. His flashlight dangled in his hand, then clattered to the floor, creating distorted silhouettes across the brown and grey stone to reveal a grisly tomb.

  Ellyssa’s thought process jammed. Her control shattered, opening Pandora’s box and flinging out all the repressed emotions at once. She couldn’t even begin to name everything she felt, one feeling slipping into another into another too fast to fully comprehend.

  Greeting them at the mouth of the entrance lay Candy. The back of her head was gone, flaming red hair matted and stuck in a dried dark puddle, face frozen in a wide-eyed state of shock.

  As much as Ellyssa wanted to, she couldn’t look away. Her eyes slid from Candy across the other crumpled bodies of the Renegades. Old, congealed blood surrounded meaty flesh and tainted the rocky floor in rust-colored macabre death.

  Ellyssa’s eyes locked on to a chubby hand, the fingers curled around something dark. The rest of the body lay hidden behind a stalagmite.

  Ellyssa’s mind screamed “no” but her feet ignored the message. As if a magnet drew her, she stepped toward the hand, knowing full well who she would discover.

  Heart pounding, mouth dry, she looked behind the formation. Dilated, cloudy eyes set into a cherubic face stared up at her. In the center of the forehead was a small hole. A dried, thin stream of crimson trailed from the point of entry and disappeared into the brown hairline.

  Grief and guilt won out over the whirling feelings and slapped cuffs on Ellyssa, dragging her down. She collapsed onto her knees and covered her face with her hands. Tear after tear fell. She tried again and again to draw from her training, to lock the emotions away, but agony wedged the box open and refused to let the lid slam shut. Images of the little toddler holding a handful of wildflowers ran rampant, stuck in a perpetual loop.

  Ellyssa knew about the brutality of the police and the Gestapo. She knew, but never had witnessed the destruction they were capable of leaving behind. What was worse was the knowledge that she was capable of more. Her genetically enhanced soldiering skills surpassed those of ordinary citizens.

  Ellyssa was the monster straight from Mary Shelly’s nightmare.

  If Ellyssa hadn’t changed…evolved…this type of destruction could’ve been left in her wake.

  Ellyssa had no idea how long she’d stayed crushed into a defeated ball. She had no idea how long she’d cried. She vaguely remembered hearing Rein’s and Woody’s deep sobs from different points of the room as they moved from one dead person to another.

  After some time, though, Ellyssa felt a hand on her shoulder, gentle and comforting. Careful to avoid the murderous scene, she looked up. Woody gazed down at her, his stormy grey eyes drowning in sorrow.

  “We need to go,” Woody said.

  “We can’t leave them like this,” said Rein.

  Culpability consumed Ellyssa. She hated the emotion even more than incapacitating fear. It ate at her with razor-sharp teeth. She gulped down a sob and bowed her head. “This is my fault,” she choked out.

  Rein dropped next to her and brushed her hair away from her eyes. “Don’t ever say that. You didn’t do this. They did this.”

  “If I had never come, you all would still be alive. Thriving.”

  Sliding his hand under Ellyssa’s chin, Rein made her look at him. She couldn’t meet his eyes, though; she stared at his mouth. She couldn’t stand to see the storm of pain she’d caused him.

  “Please look at me,” Rein pleaded.

  Afraid, Ellyssa closed her eyes. “I can’t.”

  “Please, Ellyssa.”

  She nodded once and opened her eyelids. Grief hovered within the depths, just as she’d feared, but so did love. She chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m so sorry.”

  “You’re not responsible for the actions of others. Do you understand?”

  “Ellyssa, listen to Rein,” said Woody. “You became part of our family for a reason. Fault lies with those who pulled the triggers. Fault lies with your father.”

  Caressing her cheek, Rein said, “If it wasn’t for you, how many people would have died when Dr. Hirch’s plan came to fruition? How long would we have stayed alive then? You saved us.”

  Inhaling, Ellyssa broke eye contact. The true credit belonged to Jeremy, the Renegade who’d led her to the discovery of her father’s plans to splice together her and her siblings’ genes into a creation of true “perfection,” capable of destroying all of what Dr. Hirch had considered inferior humans.

  Of course, her whole pseudo-family wa
s dead now. She’d killed them and destroyed The Center in the process. Ellyssa was the last of The Center’s children.

  Rein gestured to Woody to help. “Come on.”

  “Wait,” she said as she glanced down at the toddler’s hand. Wrapped tight within the little fingers was a shiny, round black rock, a cave pearl. Ellyssa worked it free and slipped it into her pocket.

  With their help, Ellyssa found her feet and stood. Rein pulled her close and, needing his support, she leaned into him. Warmth spread through her and helped her to find strength.

  Together, they walked through the tomb of their fallen friends. Most of the people she’d barely known. A few, she was acquainted with. There was Bertha, who’d cooked for the Renegade population, and Brenda, the only other female council member, lay twisted around a speleothem pillar. Then she came across Summer, the teenager whom Ellyssa had taught to find wild carrots. Anguish clawed in her midsection again. She choked back a sob.

  “How could they do this?” asked Rein.

  A chill passed through Ellyssa. “This is what I would have done.”

  “No.” Rein shook his head.

  “It was the reason I was bred.”

  “That’s not true. Something inside of you was different than the others. Do you believe just because Jeremy sent you thoughts was all it took to bring about such a change?”

  Ellyssa thought for a moment. How she wanted to believe she was different. That she would’ve broken free anyway, but the fact was she didn’t know. What happened was what happened. For whatever reason, Jeremy had awakened her and led her to the truth.

  Casting her eyes down, she shrugged, a natural go-to response.

  Once again, Rein placed a finger under Ellyssa’s chin. She looked into his eyes and drowned in the love she found there. “If it wasn’t already alive in you, it wouldn’t have mattered what Jeremy did. I know you, Ellyssa. I know who you are in here.” He gently tapped the place over her heart.

  Woody patted her shoulder. “Rein’s right.”

  Even if what they said was true, the tinge of guilt still sickened Ellyssa.